The Totem Pole vs The Subway Station

 The totem pole is a tall structure with many carvings discovered by early Europeans.  It usually towers high into the sky.  Some were made by different tribes and are said to be a symbol of importance.  It is said if a family had a totem pole in front of their house, it was there to show the success of their family. This coined the term "climbing your way up the totem pole."

 It was always something that happened to me, whether I wanted it to or not.  I have always been "approached"  about moving to the next step.  I knew that when I was "approached," then I was ready...except in one instance.

I had just gone back to work.  It was 5 weeks after I had Emilee.  I did not want to return to work early because I had a C-section and I was suffering from terrible baby blues.  I had to go back though because my FMLA was up.  Two months prior to having Emilee, I was put on bed rest.  FMLA allows 3 months of leave.  This led to me returning to work early.

I had been passed up several times for being promoted before my leave because of many reasons.  I think my superior struggled with the fact I was a woman, not to mention, I was pregnant.  I struggled with getting passed up time and time again.  I knew I was capable.  It wasn't until after I left, the store I was an assistant manager for declined rapidly in performance.  I think my superior then realized I was "ready."  I was scared of him.  He was intimidating and "hard to read."

Five days after I returned back to work, he asked me to be manager of a particular store.  I think he was immediately expecting me to say "yes"  since I had been passed up before.  I proceeded to tell him, “I would think about it.”  After consulting family and my husband and getting their input, I turned to the Lord.  It did not feel right.  I knew it wasn't right.  I was only 5 weeks into having a brand new baby and so much of the business had changed while I was gone.  Yet, I could not, did not want to face telling him "no."  Again, he was scary.

I remember the phone call.  I called and told him that I felt if I was promoted at that time, I would fail the store, my family and myself.  I wasn't ready.  It was the hardest conversation for me.  Not only was I passing up a promotion, but I could be passing up ever getting promoted again.  He did not like hearing "No."  He ended up promoting another peer.

Everything worked out as it usually does when you listen to the Spirit.  Shortly after, he decided to leave the company. I was interviewed by one of my favorite bosses ever.  I was promoted and took over a store I had previously worked at.  I never felt more confident that I could do the job, and I knew it was the right time and the right store.

I climbed the totem pole when I was supposed to, even though it took some time.

The subway station is a place where thousands of people pass through them every day.  It is often underground and is known as a "rapid transit system."  It takes people from one destination to the other quickly, yet it stays at the same level.

I have discovered that being home, I no longer am approached about "moving up the totem pole,"  but rather have caught a ride on the subway.

My life has moved so quickly since I have been home...ha, and I thought it would slow down.  Through some crazy happenings, I now have a copy-writing job obtained from writing this blog which I was prompted to write one night in bed.

I thought that when I stayed home, I would be able to keep the house clean, stay caught up on laundry, and grocery shopping would be a breeze.  When I was working, I felt these things were harder to get done and when I quit work, they would certainly get done.

I was wrong.  I jumped on the subway, and when I thought the next stop was "Clean the House," it was "Clean up Emmy's potty mess."  Then I thought for sure the next stop was, "Your Laundry will be done and neatly folded."  It ended up being, "You need to deliver 150 boxes of Girl Scout Cookies."

I do know one thing for sure.  At this time, the subway is what I am suppose to be riding instead of climbing...up the totem pole.

Pay Day vs Pay Day

I love Pay Day.  It's the day I look at my bank account on my phone and money magically appears. Then the adrenaline rush comes to see how fast I can pay the bills.  When I was working, Pay Day was more frequent.  I was paid on different days than Joe so money with the "plus" sign next to it was there more often.  Now pay day consists of two days a month, unless I do the odd jobs to bring in extra income.  Today my odd job was selling some things on our Eagle Mountain 24/7 Yard Sale site.  Yeah, I am pretty awesome.  I made $10. 

The nice thing about Pay Day is it is a reward for being employed and working hard.  It is a simple equation really: employment=money. 

When I was working, my girls had no structure.  I would have my sister-in-law, Becca come every two weeks to clean my house.  (That was her pay day.)  On my days off,  I had two options.  I tried to cram as much as I could in or I would rest from being so exhausted.  Emilee and Hannah were spoiled.  They were given what they wanted, when they wanted and if "No" was told to them, they would have a melt down. Chores consisted of getting ready for the day and going to bed at night.  If cleaning was to get done, it was by Becca or myself.  It was easier this way.  I didn't have the energy to put into arguing with them.

I knew this was not right as a parent but as a working individual, the thought of teaching my children these principles overwhelmed me.  When I quit my job, I knew they needed structure and to be taught the simple principles of hard work and earning their rewards.  My first day home, I thought about what I could do to teach my girls to work hard, earn money and save.

Thus, Pay Day started in our family.  I made these $100 bills with Hannah and Emilee's faces on them.  We call them "Hannah" dollars and "Emmy" dollars.


They each have a list of things they must do to earn these dollars.  The list consists of things such as obeying, doing homework without a fuss(for Hannah), going on the potty(for Emmy), putting dirty clothes in the laundry basket, cleaning up their toys, etc.  They then can save their dollars to earn prizes.

$10- a treat out of the treat bucket
$20- ice cream at the ice cream shop
$30- toy at the $1 store
$60- Mommy or Daddy daughter date
$100- Big toy at Walmart

Each night we have Pay Day. We gather at the "bank," which is our bed and I open the "cash register" which is a Tupperware container that contains their dollars.  I read off the list and they tell me if they earned a dollar for that category.  At first Hannah had a hard time saving her money.  Every $10 she earned, went straight back to the banker to buy her treat.  Emmy, on the other hand, loves ice cream.  She would save her money to earn an ice cream.  Once Emmy received her ice cream, Hannah realized she wanted an ice cream too and started saving her money.  One day, Hannah worked all morning just so she could have an ice cream along with Emmy.

We have been doing this for exactly one month now.  Emmy currently has 56 "Emmy" dollars in her piggy bank and Hannah has 32 "Hannah" dollars.  Hannah is trying to catch up to Emmy.  They are both working to get $100 so they can go to Walmart.  Emmy has her eye on a new Barbie. 

I am really pleased with the outcome of this.  I love Pay Day now for different reasons.  I love seeing the excitement every night when the girls hop on our bed before family prayer and we have to count their dollars to see what they are at.  I love seeing how they have learned the importance of working hard, earning money and saving.  It is fun! 

Being a good mom to my girls is my Pay Day.  And, well, that is priceless.