The Totem Pole vs The Subway Station

 The totem pole is a tall structure with many carvings discovered by early Europeans.  It usually towers high into the sky.  Some were made by different tribes and are said to be a symbol of importance.  It is said if a family had a totem pole in front of their house, it was there to show the success of their family. This coined the term "climbing your way up the totem pole."

 It was always something that happened to me, whether I wanted it to or not.  I have always been "approached"  about moving to the next step.  I knew that when I was "approached," then I was ready...except in one instance.

I had just gone back to work.  It was 5 weeks after I had Emilee.  I did not want to return to work early because I had a C-section and I was suffering from terrible baby blues.  I had to go back though because my FMLA was up.  Two months prior to having Emilee, I was put on bed rest.  FMLA allows 3 months of leave.  This led to me returning to work early.

I had been passed up several times for being promoted before my leave because of many reasons.  I think my superior struggled with the fact I was a woman, not to mention, I was pregnant.  I struggled with getting passed up time and time again.  I knew I was capable.  It wasn't until after I left, the store I was an assistant manager for declined rapidly in performance.  I think my superior then realized I was "ready."  I was scared of him.  He was intimidating and "hard to read."

Five days after I returned back to work, he asked me to be manager of a particular store.  I think he was immediately expecting me to say "yes"  since I had been passed up before.  I proceeded to tell him, “I would think about it.”  After consulting family and my husband and getting their input, I turned to the Lord.  It did not feel right.  I knew it wasn't right.  I was only 5 weeks into having a brand new baby and so much of the business had changed while I was gone.  Yet, I could not, did not want to face telling him "no."  Again, he was scary.

I remember the phone call.  I called and told him that I felt if I was promoted at that time, I would fail the store, my family and myself.  I wasn't ready.  It was the hardest conversation for me.  Not only was I passing up a promotion, but I could be passing up ever getting promoted again.  He did not like hearing "No."  He ended up promoting another peer.

Everything worked out as it usually does when you listen to the Spirit.  Shortly after, he decided to leave the company. I was interviewed by one of my favorite bosses ever.  I was promoted and took over a store I had previously worked at.  I never felt more confident that I could do the job, and I knew it was the right time and the right store.

I climbed the totem pole when I was supposed to, even though it took some time.

The subway station is a place where thousands of people pass through them every day.  It is often underground and is known as a "rapid transit system."  It takes people from one destination to the other quickly, yet it stays at the same level.

I have discovered that being home, I no longer am approached about "moving up the totem pole,"  but rather have caught a ride on the subway.

My life has moved so quickly since I have been home...ha, and I thought it would slow down.  Through some crazy happenings, I now have a copy-writing job obtained from writing this blog which I was prompted to write one night in bed.

I thought that when I stayed home, I would be able to keep the house clean, stay caught up on laundry, and grocery shopping would be a breeze.  When I was working, I felt these things were harder to get done and when I quit work, they would certainly get done.

I was wrong.  I jumped on the subway, and when I thought the next stop was "Clean the House," it was "Clean up Emmy's potty mess."  Then I thought for sure the next stop was, "Your Laundry will be done and neatly folded."  It ended up being, "You need to deliver 150 boxes of Girl Scout Cookies."

I do know one thing for sure.  At this time, the subway is what I am suppose to be riding instead of climbing...up the totem pole.