I love the mountains of Utah. When I first moved here from Colorado, I was in awe at how beautiful they were. When Joe and I first started dating, he would make fun of me for how many times during our dates I would say, "Oh how I just love the mountains." It was interesting but most of the stores I worked at, there was a view of the mountains, starting at Albertsons.
The store at Albertsons was so close to the mountains. I remember walking out of the store at the end of my shift and being taken back by their beauty. You couldn't see them unless you walked out of the store. Walking in, your back was to them and the store didn't have many windows. Sometimes the light would shine just right on them so they looked as though they were a huge painting in the sky.
My store in Orem was even closer. I have tons and tons of pictures in my gallery that I would take as I walked into work in the morning and the sunrise, again, made them almost imaginary. The store faced sideways to them so I could look walking in or out of the store.
My last store I worked at, it faced the mountains and had tons of windows. Throughout the day, I could marvel at their beauty. I was at that store for a whole year so I watched the mountains go through their seasons. I started in the winter where they were covered in snow. Then they moved through spring where there were still spots of snow but green started to peak through. Summer came and the whole mountains were lush with green and the sun would make them sparkle majestically. Fall hit and the colors on them looked like a huge canvas of painted wonder. Then winter hit again...
This morning, I woke up to Hannah asking what time it was. I told her and laid my head back on the pillow. Then I again woke to the sound of Joe rustling through the drawers in the bathroom. He was looking for razors. Hannah came and gave me a hug and kiss goodbye. When Joe left, he yelled up the stairs he loved me and to have a good day. A few minutes later, I got out of bed and did the "potty pep talk" with Emmy that we have been doing every morning the last couple of days. I had some funny conversations with her and got her breakfast. I then began to cry.
I was flooded with emotion. I love my family so much and as I reflect on the last seven years of my life, I thought about all the moments I missed. I thought about how tired and stressed I had been the last couple of years. I would come home, fix dinner and go to bed. Then hit the repeat button. On my days off, I would hurry and cram grocery shopping and laundry in. Some days, I was even too tired to do that. I never stopped to look at the "mountains" in my life. The beauty. The joy. Why did I do this to myself? Why did I let myself be taken over with stress and tiredness? I did it to support my family. But while I was busy supporting my family, was I really supporting them?
I think of all the times I was on my phone during dinner and missed Hannah's conversation about her day. I think about all the presentations and parties I missed at Hannah's school. I even missed Hannah learning to ride her bike. Her babysitter taught her. I missed Emmy learning to walk and talk and grow. All the sudden she is 3! I missed dates with my husband and ignored him so many times. The fact that he is still married to me tells you what kind of man he is. I missed family events and often conversations I could had with loved ones.
This morning, I stopped and looked at the beauty of the "mountains" again. I gave Emmy a hug as she colored in her Dora coloring book. "Mom, I am going to color you a wonderful picture," she says and in the same breath, "I am going to be a fairy today."
Often mountains are referred to trials and climbing over them. In my case, mountains are the beauty that surrounds me. As I would often stand and look at the mountains at work, I now stand and treasure the moments placed before me.
We all have to work, in different ways. Sometimes we get really busy and stressed. Sometimes it takes over. But just stop for a moment, for just a second, and look at the beauty of the "mountains."
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