Quitting vs Quitter

When I was 18 years old, I was working as a Scan Manager for Grocery Warehouse (Albertsons.)  It was summer time, in between school seasons.  I decided to pick up a second job as a hostess at a local Mexican restaurant.  I did it so I could pay my car off earlier.  Quickly after being hired as a hostess, the owner wanted to promote me to cocktail waitress.  I would be able to make more money doing this because of tips. Never having a drink in my life or knowing anything about alcohol, I had to quickly memorize the drinks and take a test on them. I passed the test and began my job as a waitress.  

My first day was a nightmare.  I spilled a red margarita on a lady's white pant suit.  I forgot appetizers and the other waitresses were not happy to compete for tips. At the end of my shift, I was exhausted.  I didn't want to give up even though I hated being associated with something I didn't believe in.  I continued for a month.  During that month, I learned a lot.  I learned the married owner was sleeping with the manager.  I learned that one of the waitresses was sleeping with the married bartender.  I learned that if you got too close to drunk men, they would pinch your butt, ask for your number and stalk you in the parking lot. (That was in the days when I had a butt.  Anyone who knows me now, knows I have "worked my butt off" literally and is no longer there.)  I learned that waitresses would place wrong orders on purpose so they could pour the "wrong drink" into their soda drinks and drink on the job.  I learned that drunk people can't tell one zero from two.  

Finally after being harassed from all the waitresses about not drinking and joining in with them, (ya, forget the fact I was underage) I talked with the owner and gave my two weeks.  I told him about all their shenanigans and told him I was quitting.  I didn't not want to be part of it.  He told me he wanted me to stay and he would talk to them.  I told him I would still be quitting.  My first shift after I "talked" to him was even more of a nightmare.  The girls harassed me all night for "tattling" on them.  It was a rough night.

After I went home, I decided I wasn't going back.  I didn't show for my next shift.  The manager called for me and I said I wasn't home (I pretended to be my mom.)  I had to quit.  I was done.

I have never really liked the word "quitter."  I think "quitting" something and being a "quitter" are two completely different things.  

Does one "quit" a job because they are a "quitter" or because they need to make more money, it is damaging to their emotional well-being or they need to be at home with their children?

Is one a "quitter" on their marriage because they just simply give up or because they want to "quit" fighting and being unhappy?

Is one a "quitter" of a sport they love because it is just simply too hard or because they want to "quit" hurting their knees and going home every night in pain?

Does one "quit" trying because they are a "quitter" or because they don't have the support they need to keep going?

Does one "quit" because they know that something is better for them if they do?  

Is one a "quitter" when they give up, when they stop living because they don't know how to live anymore?

Do we not become "quitters" because we have something to prove?

Do we "quit" because what we are doing is unhealthy mentally, physically or spiritually?

I have seen a lot of people "quit" in my life...but few are "quitters."  

I was called a "quitter" by a few when I didn't show up for my next shift that day.  Something I didn't think was in me to do.  But I "quit" trying to be something I wasn't.  I "quit" being around things that made me uncomfortable.

There are tons of quotes about "not quitting" and "don't ever quit; it's giving up." Blah, blah blah!!!  No!  Being a "quitter" is giving up.  Quitting is, well just, living.

So Emilee, it is okay to "quit" making messes and making mad faces at me, really I promise it is.  Hannah, it is okay to "quit" whining and leaving your socks everywhere, I promise it won't hurt you.  And Honey, I love you for not ever being a "quitter" on me.

Osayi Osar-Emokpae said it better than I could ever say it:
“Quitting is not giving up, it's choosing to focus your attention on something more important. Quitting is not losing confidence, it's realizing that there are more valuable ways you can spend your time. Quitting is not making excuses, it's learning to be more productive, efficient and effective instead. Quitting is letting go of things (or people) that are sucking the life out of you so you can do more things that will bring you strength.”